Why do we have to be mean?

I have a call from colleague this morning. It was not what I had expected on an early Monday morning, especially when you are struggling to keep your head up after having such a good time during weekend. My colleague was speaking in a rather exasperating tone and with a high pitch voice to match her dissatisfaction over some queries that I put to her.

After talking for awhile, I don't really see a point to be exasperated in the first place. It was a harmless queries intended to get a better picture before I give a reply to a business user. Yes, the business user herself was trying to be sneaky with her request, but that does not mean that one has to be mean and give insulting comment. After all, we are colleagues and I am trying to get some facts. I have notice that this particularly colleague of mine has a tendency to be either sarcastic or condescending towards me and my team. As far as I can recall, I have never done such thing to her. Whilst I have my utmost respect for her, I can't help but wondering did she has something against me. I would think that in most occasions, I was very cordial and in fact very helpful to her.

I guess, maybe I was too helpful that she begins to take me and my team for granted. Maybe, I should be more selfish towards her. But hey, that's not me!!

This gives me the opportunity to reflect, why does people tend to be mean to people who are generally nice to them. Is it because they felt it was comfortable to do so with that person compared to somebody else whom they do not have a cordial relationship with? Many a times we tend to take things for granted. I have to admit, I too do that sometimes, especially to my wife (who, despite not really admitting it to her face, I really appreciate her for the wonderful person she is). Maybe we all should evaluate our mode of relationship with people around us. Do we accord the people around us with the right 'mode' of relationship? Is being mean is another way of saying that I appreciate you? Strange....