Family Vacation Part 2 (Kembali ke Alam Nyata!)

My family and I arrived in KUL at approximately 14oo hours today. Well all I can say was it was truly an enjoyable trip. My wife and I went shopping in Tanah Abang, a place where you can find cloth and materials (as well as head scarf and embroidered clothing) dirt cheap! My wife and I also pamper ourselves with facial treatment, body massage and reflexology at a price that was beyond value for money, and our kids got to attend a two-hour tennis coaching lessons (together with ball-boy services) at a mere RM35. To top it all, we got ourselves to stay in a Grand Deluxe room and a mere one-third of the published rate. Man, do we live like king in Jakarta! In the end, all of us came back with glee, probably the after effect from the 'euphoria' we experienced.

The family having a good time at DuFan (Dunia Fantasi)

The thing is, I am quite impressed with Jakarta. My wife was a bit apprehensive when I mentioned to her that I wanted to take the whole family to Jakarta for a vacation. In her mind, she always thought that the place is unsafe, dirty etc a.k.a not worth visiting. I don't blame her because she did not have a pleasant experience the first time she went there back in 2000. But to me Jakarta is far more interesting to visit than KL - hands down.

The kids frolicking at the hotel's bath tub

Apart from being able to enjoy the luxuries at a mere fraction of a price here in KL, the workmanship of the people is impeccable. and meticulous. For example, the masseuse are more skilled than those in KL. I can really compare this based on my first hand experienced. In fact, I was very impressed with the progress of my kids tennis skills after just a 2 hours session with the local coach. I was surprised to see Nique being able to strike the ball clean after just being coached for 10 minutes. This I can compare with the results I got when I tried to coach them myself.

Luke, Nique and Ash at Tennis Coaching Session

Now we are back to the real world. As I write, my kids were sleeping, clearly exhausted from the trip. In my mind, I am already planning my next visit.

At the hotel

Note: There are still things that you need to be wary of when visiting JKT. Thus, you should always seek advice from people who visit the place regularly.

Family Vacation Part 1 (Selamat Berlibur!)

I am in Jakarta when I type this entry. I have to say, the vacation didn't start quite well. Yesterday morning when I arrived at the airport, I was offloaded because the flight was overbooked. As a result, my family and I have to wait for 4 hours for the next flight. Then, the flight was delayed because of late arrival of the previous flight. I have to wait for another 1 hour before we departed to Jakarta. When I arrived, I found out that I lost my handphone. I could've left it either in the plane or at the waiting lounge prior to departure. When I checked-in at the hotel, I found out that the room provided to me did not come with the internet connection.

The thing is, apart of all the thing that happened, I was indeed very satisfied. Not for what has happened but more of how I have reacted to all this. Instead of throwing tantrums and making scenes out of all these (which I always have the tendency to do it), I have risen above them all and reacted using my head and not my emotions.

Starting with the incident at the airport, instead of uttering expletives at the officer at the counter, I managed to remain calm and talk rationally to the guys. And you know what, I was suddenly able to calm myself further. I was overwhelmed with this tingling sensation arising from the effect of being nice to people. I can see how appreciative the officers to me and because of that, I was offered free coupons for my breakfast and lunch (usually, one is entitled for one meal vouchers only). Then during internet incidence, I negotiated my way with the hotel officers and guess what, I was given free internet instead. As for my handphone incidence, I managed to email my assistant at the office and she managed to do the necessary for me. In the end, I end up having a very good time with my family.

One thing I learnt that I would not be able to do all this had I did not do the most IMPORTANT thing when adversity occurred....the ability to let things go. Many a times the main cause for our anger, anguish and disappointment is the fact that we are too hung up on what HAS happened rather than concentrating to ensure things happen the way we wanted it. The rule is simple, negativity breeds negativity whilst positivity neutralised negativity and makes things back to equilibrium. I know this may sound a bit too philosophical but could you imagine what would have happened if I reacted differently to all the above situations. I could have ended up having the worst family vacation ever. At the moment, my family and I are having good times doing shopping and sightseeing in Jakarta.

I guess GOD has blessed me with true happiness.

Alhamdulillah...

Playing with Emotions

One thing I love about fatherhood is that you get to bully your kids anytime, anywhere you like. When it comes to teasing my kids, I am a true expert. Nique, for example, can easily succumb to the power of suggestions. Tell him anything and he would believe it. Ash on the other hand, is easily manipulated everytime you 'fake' your crying. But when it comes to Luke, it is totally a different ball game. Luke is a bit more steady and guarded when it comes to his emotions. You don't easily break him and he also doesn't easily believe things either. His power of observation is so strong that you have to be really, really consistent to make him succumb to your suggestions.

Just now, I manage to break him :) As we are preparing to go to Jakarta, I have constantly told him that he will not be joining us because of his poor exam results (well Luke is not as academically gifted as Nique). I started to pull him into the game about 5 weeks ago. First, I started by showing that I didn't buy him his plane tickets (which I actually did). Next, I kept on repeating that I shall be leaving him with either at my sister house or his nanny's place. Every now and then, I would drop little hints that he will not be joining us for the trip. The thing is, he was pretty cool about it. Throughout the period, he did not show much feelings towards what I said. I must say, he seems to be taking the news a bit too well.

My moment of triumph came just now. Because he likes to tease Nique, I finally told him that I would consider bringing him along if Nique allows him to. I would have thought that Nique would be taking is time to see if Luke would be nicer to him but Nique, being the soft-hearted kid he is, has finally admitted to me that he would like Luke to join us for the trip as well. I guess my plan hit a little setback. Then this afternoon, I told Luke that since Nique is okay with him joining, he still has to beat me in Foosball three times in a row in order to earn the trip. I can see how determined Luke was in trying to win the game. In fact, he won the first two games fairly easily (actually the kid is darn good!). The third game was a closer tie. The suspense was as good as any Hindi movie that you would normally watch. Every time, Luke scored a goal, I would score mine right after. At the score of 5-5, Luke finally manage to pull away when he got the next 2 consecutive goals (by the way, you need to score 9 goals to win the game). I guess, nerves has finally got the best of him when, out of nowhere, I managed to score 4 goals in a row. As he conceded defeat, his eyes started to well up. I, on the other hand, began to rub it in with my gloating. He finally broke down in tears. I think he was truly, truly disappointed. His cousin, Ann who happen to be around began to console him but he was truly heartbroken.

As I when up to my room and tell the tale to my wife, I began to think that maybe this time I went a bit too far. My wife pointed how childish I have been to pull a stunt like that on a nine-year old. I guess she's right too. I was more interested in breaking his 'macho' persona without realising that how much I have hurt him. After I have finished typing the final sentence of this entry, I would go down and offer to have another foosball game with him and this time, I would let him win this time. My wife told me why can't I just tell him that he can go, without going through this silly mind games. I told her......"Where's the fun in that?!"

I really, really ought to be ashame of myself!!

Luke, Nique and Ash being my prank victims....he...he....he...

Vacation mood

This week has been very hectic for me at work. Since Tuesday, I have been back to back meetings and discussions where some even finished at 11pm. I must say, I was working my ass off this week trying to clear outstanding things as much as possible. You may wonder where did I get the motivation to sustain such high level of energy. The answer...long overdue family vacation. Next week I am going to Jakarta with my family. It's been awhile since we last have our vacation. Can't wait to go there with my family. Definitely I am going to enjoysssssss!!!!!

Mixed Feelings

Yesterday, my eldest son Luke was having a whole day affair at his school. The school was celebrating Teacher's Day in the morning and in the afternoon, he had to attend a special programme 'Kem Bestari Solat' a programme carried out by the school to teach the pupils the proper way of prayers. I know Luke was fond of these things. Even at a tender age of 9, he has already displayed traces of leadership quality. He likes to participate in co-curricular activities as well as any initiatives carried out by the school. As far as I can remember, he was always elected either to be the class monitor or assistant monitor ever since he was in kindergarten. I am very proud of him because of the independence and high level of accountability displayed by him. In fact, I could see the passion he had whenever he is involved in these types of activities. I couldn't remember whether I was as active as he is when I was at his age.

However, I was a bit upset with him yesterday. Apparently, during the mid-break between his morning session and the afternoon session, he had left school and join his friends to perform Friday prayers at a nearby Mosque. In a way, I felt proud because he makes the decision and do what he wanted to do. I always like to encourage my kids to make decisions and do what they feel is right. However, in doing this, he has ignored my caution to him about going to places where there is no adult supervision. With the kind of things happening to kids these days, there is no telling what can happen. I did give him the scolding afterwards but deep down, I was a little proud of him. My son is becoming a man at such an early age. But then again, I cannot ignore the fact that things could happen the other way round. In the end, how do you balance between instilling independence in your kids but at the same time protecting them from the dangers surrounding them. I have seen the two extreme methods that my sisters adopt in handling their kids. One is a bit laid-back and in the end the child grew up to be undisciplined whilst the other is too protective that they become too needy and dependent on my sister.

At the moment, I don't know where I stand. Only time will tell.

Luke in one of his school's activities

Its just too much!!

I am close to reaching my breaking point today. Early this morning, I started my day with wild ramblings and scolding to my staff, followed by exchange of nasty emails and heated tele-conversation with people in my department. I just can't stand it when people are taking their own sweet time to do their jobs, and on top of that conveniently pass the buck to others. I guess my temperamental showdown this morning works as I began to see things are moving again.

Then, the pressure of handling voluminous (and sometimes ridiculous) requests from other departments again makes me losing my cool. Sometimes I wonder where does all these thick people comes from? Can't they understanding simple instructions? We are in the midst of cost control mode and yet they still have the cheek to ask for extravagance. I could swear that for a brief moment, I was close to utter a couple of 'f***-off's to them.

I am truly under a tremendous pressure lately. My deadlines are way overdue, my team seems to be moving at a snail pace, other people doesn't seems to be cooperative, there are issues accumulating as several of my projects progress, whilst at personally level, I still have these chores to do for m family and my relative. I don't think I can handle this anymore. I am NOT a superhero!!

And to top it all, I just found out that my name was due for international postings and it was stopped because my boss does not want to release me. Apparently, I have yet to complete my projects. Please tell me when can I finish my projects if new things keep coming to my table and I have to keep on rescuing other projects that cannot be handle by some incompetent fools that we employ at higher positions!

Screw all of them!!!

Missing you....

Mother's days is just around the corner. You can hear over the radio there are contests on who can come out with the best wishes, on-the air-greetings by children to their wonderful moms, appreciation speech etc.

Yesterday, whilst I was driving home, I heard this lady was talking about her mother and how wonderful her mom was. It was such a beautiful dedication that it touches my heart and I started to get all teary-eyed. As I keep on listening to her speech, I began to feel that she was actually describing my mom!

You see, my mom was brought up in rural area. Her father did odd jobs to support the family. She has 9 siblings and a crippled mother who suffered from stroke. When she reaches her adolescence, she defy the traditional norm and began working in a rubber estate just to help support the family. My mother had always been known for her strong character and her firmness. Despite her tough exterior, she has one of the very soft heart in the world. She was genuinely caring and always willing to go extra mile to help those in needs. I can see all her characteristics embodies into my eldest sister (though she vehemently denied this!).

My mother loves cooking. I may be seen as tooting my own horn, but to me she is the best cook in the world especially when it come to traditional dishes. Whenever there was big wedding do in our neighbourhood, she will always be called to cook the dishes. I must say, my mom was not only a good cook, she also possessed very strong managerial qualities as well. She always like to maintain high standards in her work and can get violently impatient towards shoddy workmanship. She also had very low tolerance level towards people who delay and slow at doing things. When I was young, I couldn't understand why she has to behave very violently whenever I make mistakes, but now when I look back, all the things that she did had conditioned me to be who I am now.

Though my mom was not a very physical person, you can feel the warmth and her compassion towards you with the things that she was willing to go through just to make sure her kids get everything they deserved. She will braved government agencies to ensure her kids will get a scholarship, she was always there whenever there were ceremonies to celebrate our achievements, in short she always put our priority first. It is pity that sometimes us kids were unappreciative to the things that she did for us.

Even with her grandchildren, she was always very generous with them. My kids adored her so much and will always eager to go to her place. In fact, they like her 'bedak sejuk' session so much that until to day, they still use the same 'bedak sejuk' after taking their bath. (My mom will always put the bedak sejuk - a kind of traditional facial powder to her kids and grandchildren every time after bath time. I used to hate this when I was young as it makes you look ugly - but somehow luke and nique loved it so much!)

As I was typing this entry, I didn't realise that tears began flowing down my cheek for I can never get to greet my mom 'Happy Mother's Day" anymore.

Al-fatihah...... to my late mom and thank you for all the wonderful things that you have done for me. I really, really miss you!

Boys will be boys

Ever since I was small I always wanted a Foosball table, the one that was featured in Chandler's and Joey's apartment in Friends sitcom. However, I always hesitated to get one thinking that I will have no one in the house to play it with. The opportunity presented when Nique, my second son pleading me to buy one when we went out shopping at Subang Parade yesterday. Looking at how eager he was justifying his request, my heart melted and decided to buy the Foosball for him.

When I got back to my house, I started to assemble the thing and I felt I have achieve a great accomplishment when I managed to assemble the whole thing by myself (actually, I don't mind boasting about this as I am not known for my carpentry skills!).

I played with my sons and wife and I have to say we had a great deal of fun. In fact, I think I was the more exciting one. Even Ash, my youngest son is quite apt in the game. Luke, my eldest is playing like a pro. He put me into shame when he repeatedly beat me in 3 successive games. At one point, I have to resort to cheating just to win a goal from him (shame on me!).

Luke & Nique participating in MotoGP

The game brought out the boy in me and for a moment, I don't see myself as a father but more like a playmate to my kids. I reverted to my fatherhood mode when Nique and Luke began quarrelling and fighting over the game! It was then I realise that there is an expiry period for adults to enjoy a moment boyhood.

The Perfect 10

Yesterday, I managed to get my butt off and drive all the way to Raub, to attend my wife's cousin wedding. Usually I hate driving long distance (I know, I know Raub is only 2 hours away but to me, anything that requires more than 1 hour driving is a torture!), but because of this is a close cousin of my wife, I feel obliged to accompany her.

When I look at the groom, I began to reminisce the first time I saw him. It was during my wedding about 10 years ago. I can't believe time have passed so fast. I felt like I was just married 2 days ago. I guess when you enjoy each other's company, time surely swift pass you faster than Lewis Hamilton in his McLaren's.

This year, I am celebrating my 10th anniversary. I feel blessed for having such a wonderful and blessed marriage and for having three wonderful boys who continuously make me feel life is worth living. I always look forward to see how my children grow and how much my relationship with my wife has gone from strength to strength. Sure we have our share of ups and downs, but as far as I can remember, there are more fond memories. Even in the period of adversity, our relationship came out stronger than ever.

I really believe that the key to happiness is about accepting who your spouse is and your spouse accepting you as who you are. I am glad that I married my wife even though before the wedding I have my doubts considering how different both of us were. I guess, the risk is worth taking. I would have never known what happiness is all about had I decided not to pursue her. I am one hell of a lucky bloke!